Our Hearts
by Kode Dekka
Summary: Sae realizes that the feelings she has inside, can no longer stay just inside. But she is shy, and scared, not certain of what her feelings would bring her. And then there's Hiro... One-shot, not very deep, but I think kind of sweet.


A/N: _Its been a while since I last made a HS fanfic. I was up all last night watching the first season, and I never noticed it the first time around, but as I watched, I saw that Sae and Hiro's relationship had insane amounts of subtext. The of course, spawned several ideas into my head, this story just happened to be the only one that stuck around. That being said, enjoy, since there still isn't nearly enough HS fanfiction out there. _

_- Kode-Dekka  
_

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Our Hearts

By Kode-Dekka

You reached out and brushed your hand through my hair. You thought I was asleep at my desk, but I was wide awake, and could feel the full sensation of your touch. I did my best not to alert you that I was pretending, and kept my breathing soft, even though my heart was running wild.

"Sae..." You whispered in my ear. It tickled, but it felt nice, like listening to sounds of the ocean. You did this every night, when you thought I was sleeping. I should have said something, I know I should have, it was wrong to let you believe that you were alone with your thoughts, ones that I know were private and special to you. But I stayed silent and still, because I didn't want to spoil the mood, by revealing the intimate things you said to my faking self.

"I love you, goodnight." You kissed me on the cheek, and then pulled a blanket over me, to make sure that I didn't catch a cold. And then your footsteps started away from me, and faded as they reached the door. You opened it, and then left me alone. But I knew you were still there, pressed against the door, cursing yourself for the things you've done.

I opened my eyes and sat up at my desk, watching the door. I know, even after a minute had passed, you were still standing there. Still cursing yourself, because you couldn't openly be honest to me about your feelings, the ones you locked inside your heart for more than a year.

But Hiro, you shouldn't punish yourself. You aren't alone, not as much as you think. You shouldn't curse yourself, for saying what you wanted to say when you thought I wasn't listening, instead of confronting me about it. Its okay. Hiro, its okay...

Because I can't be honest with myself either.

A week later, after listening to more of your silent confessions. I decided, enough was enough. I had to tell you, how I truly felt about you, so that you wouldn't be burdened by self-loathing anymore. But I was a coward. At every single opportunity, I lost my chance, because I was still scared of your answer.

Even if you said you loved me, even if you kissed me and rubbed your hand through my hair at night. And showered me with your affections in the form of cooking and compliments; I still couldn't be sure. The way you acted, while inappropriate for a friend, was still far more like that of an older sister, or a mother, and a far cry for that of a lover, at least in my eyes. Sometimes the others remarked that you were more like a wife. That made me happy, but I still didn't quite believe it. I wrote romance stories for a living, but I was clueless when it came to the real thing. I was also shy, and pessimistic about love itself. If you cared about me in a romantic way, I couldn't see it, no matter how you displayed yourself. So I was scared. I didn't want to show you how I felt, and then have my perception of your feelings turn out to be nothing more than a misunderstanding on my part.

So, even after a week had passed, I hadn't told you anything. The strong resolve I built up, crumbled away easily when faced with reality. There was also one other thing I never told you. My newest story, the one that I slaved away at every night, was about you. It was about you, and me, and my inability to tell you my honest feelings, even though they were so strong that I was being suffocated by them. It was almost finished, but I couldn't figure it out, the ending. I wanted to bring my characters together, but because I didn't have any confidence in myself, it wouldn't translate onto the pages. Because I didn't know how my story with you would end, I didn't know what to do anymore.

I was being thrown around by my feelings, which were a whirlwind. Do I tell you? Do I keep it to myself forever? Regardless of the outcome, our current relationship wouldn't be able to stay the way it is right now. If I told you, then things would change, for better or worse. If I didn't tell you, then you would eventually fall for someone else, and go far away from me. Both options sounded unpleasant to think about, but it was the only thing on my mind. I was so preoccupied, that I didn't notice. Before I knew it, I was falling asleep...

_Why did things turn out like this? _

I thought I had only fallen asleep for a moment, but hours had passed.

_Why didn't I notice earlier?_

I was at my desk, like usual, but something wasn't right.

_Why did it turn out like this?_

You were here, but you looked strange. You were holding something. I realized soon enough, that it was the manuscript for my new story, the one that I had kept hidden from you for so long. You were reading it, in a state of shock, and dropped the pages before you even reached the halfway point.

"Hiro..." You finally saw that I was awake, which caused you to panic.

"O-Oh, Sae. Sorry, I didn't mean to look at it without your permission." You tried to be calm, but I knew that you saw it, the part I didn't want you to see. The pages, where the fictional me, poured out her heart and soul to a mirror, reeling in agony at the realization of her sinful feelings. The story, I didn't even try to hide the fact that it was about us. It was so detailed, and while I didn't use our real names, the things described in that story, were clearly about our experiences at the Hidamari Apartments. And since you were smart, and knew me better than anyone, you also were aware of the difference between this story and the others I've written. While everything else was fiction, the emotions poured into this story, and everything that happened within, was real.

You looked at me differently when you realized it, that I was completely awake during your confessions, when you whispered love and gentle words into my ear. You looked embarrassed, and and confused, and scared. I should never have written my thoughts on those encounters in that story, but I couldn't help it.

The staring contest seemed to go on forever, before I finally decided to speak up. "There's no use hiding it anymore. What you read, its just what you think, those are my honest feelings." It was unusual of me to be so open about myself, but I figured that she would see through me if I tried to lie. "I never meant for this to be published, and I never meant for you to see, it was something I made for myself, to remind me of the line that I shouldn't cross as your friend." You blushed, and your face was soft now, even the look in your eyes looked a little gentler.

"What if _I_ want to cross that line? Is it really that bad, to want to be with the person you love?" You bit your lip, crossed your arms and held them against your chest. "Wasn't it obvious, that I felt the same way as you. Have more confidence in yourself, Sae."

"I don't know how to do that, because I'm a coward, and I'm scared." Your frilly hair bounced as you paced around the room, keeping your distance from me. Why did things turn out like this? I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I was also content at keeping it inside. But now that you revealed your feelings to me, I don't have any choice but to respond with my own. I'm still scared. "I don't have any confidence. I'm scared, that one day, you wont feel the same way anymore." In truth, I knew how you felt all along, but was trying to convince myself that it was something else, in order to have a reason to run away. I'm scared of living in a world without you. I don't want to have a taste of paradise, only to lose it later.

You looked upon me with solemn eyes, and gave me a tiny smile. "That's silly, how could I ever love anyone more than I love you right now." Then you approached me, and I rose from my chair, so that I could face you. You slammed your face against my chest when you got close enough. "I'm scared too, you know. These kind of feelings are new to me, I don't know the best away to deal with them either. That's why, I wanted us to take it one step at a time, and deal with it together." You raised your face up at me, and showed me the shinning tears in your eyes. "The way I feel right now, I don't want to feel that way for anyone but you, I don't want to be with anyone but you. I love you, Sae." It was embarrassing, but I embraced you. I recalled a similar time like this, where I should have embraced you, but instead put distance between us. But I was doing it now, the things I should have done back then, and you responded by wrapping your arms around me.

"I love you too, Hiro." You nodded and kept head against my chest. It felt nice to let that off my chest, after all this time of holding it inside, and hurting myself over and over. Somehow, it felt like this ending was too easy, that I hadn't yet earned this kind of happiness. That reminded me.

I noticed the scattered papers on the floor. Now I knew, how I would end the story. It was all so simple, that I should have realized it sooner. I wanted to finish it as soon as possible, but there was something more important that I had to do first, the most important thing. "Hiro." You looked up at me, and I moved my face down at you. Our lips touched a moment later, and we shared our first kiss.

It was a surprising action, and the two of us fell back onto the couch. I held onto you tightly and kept kissing you. You refused to let go as well. And as things intensified, I thought about the story. I would finish it, for sure, as proof that I wouldn't run away anymore.

But for now, until that time came, just wanted to hold on to you some more. So I did, and I vowed to myself, never to let go.

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_A/N: Upon reading this, I found it to be a little bit of a mess, but whatever. Thanks for reading. _


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